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A conversation I have every month or so
Me: (tries to visit a local restaurant’s website via iPhone)
Restaurant website: I require Flash. Fuck off.
Me: I just want to know how late you’re open.
Website: Nope.
Me: But I’m on my phone. Don’t you have a little “HTML Version” link up in the corner or something?
Website: I’m ignoring you.
Me: What if I’m on my phone because I’m out, looking for a place to eat? Didn’t that ever occur to you?
Website: Fuck entirely off.
Me: (gives up, switches to computer)
Website: Oh! Hi! What can I help you with today?
Me: What are your —
Website: Hang on, I’m loading the music.
Me: Really.
Website: You’ll love it. It’s “Girl from Ipanema” arranged for steel drum and keytar.
Me: No, you don’t have to —
Website: Loading…
Me: All I want is —
Website: I SAID DOT DOT DOT.
Me: (drums fingers on desk)
Website: There we go. Isn’t that nice? It’s… what’s the word. Ethnicky.
Me: What are your hours?
Website: Take a look at our menu! It’s a PDF of a screenshot of a scan of a Word document printed on a dishtowel. With fonts!
Me: I don’t care. What are your hours?
Website: Don’t worry, the menu loads in a new window so the music won’t stop. Can I show you some broken images?
Me: What. Are. Your. Hou. Rs.
Website: I… I don’t know.
Me: (goes to Denny’s)-
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timrosenberg reblogged this from dwineman and added:
The nice thing about websites thats use Flash and/or Auto-play music...loading screen...
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it. Weep sad, sad tears. VERY SAD AND HUNGRY TEARS.
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Love it :D People need to get over flash!
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just want to know how late you’re open. Website: Nope. Me: But I’m on my phone. Don’t you
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require Flash. Fuck off. Me: I just want to know how late you’re open. Website: Nope. Me: But I’m on my phone. Don’t...
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Marc ist im Rheinland, in der Nähe von Köln aufgewachsen, ohne jedoch mit der Karnevalskultur im Besonderen in Kontakt gekommen zu sein.
Dank des unkonventionellen Musikunterrichts von Herrn Feik schaffte er sich nach dem ersten Hören einer Charlie Parker-Schallplatte ein Altsaxophon an, was ihn - Jahre später - an der Hochschule für Musik und Theater in Hamburg studieren ließ.
Seit vielen Jahren lebt er in Hamburg, wo er Kaffee trinkt, Saxophon, Klarinette und Flöte mit dem Berlepschquartett, dem Saxophonquartett Vierung, der Downtown Bigband, dem Chris Fidler Octet und an diversen Theatern spielt. Er unterrichtet am Gymnasium Wentorf.
Seine Homepage, seine Fotos, seine Frank Wess-Interviews, seine MP3s.
«plumperstrunt»
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